Still on the journey 2

[princess_nic]

AMD - Good to hear from you. When are you going to update your thread?

ISLH -

I've been sitting here trying to think what you did that could've made him react this way but it baffles me.

Here's my explanation:

1. I told him off (nicely)

2. I sat far from him

3. I gave him a pretty impersonal card: "Have a great birthday and year. Best wishes, Nicola"

Really, I think it's just a pursuit/distance thing. Thanks for your support re. my distancing. It really is better for me right now.

I do see hope. Do not give up. He will peek outside the cave now and then and may also retreat but as long as he's still peeking, he will eventually realize that life is so much brighter outside the cave.

Thanks for this. I needed it tonight.

Keyster -

Wow, a voice from the past! Thanks for stopping by.

From what I have read, of your sitch, it seems to me that you are still reacting to what your H does or does not do. You still hold on to expectations when you should just let them go.

Yes, this is true. I am still having a hard time with this, but it's getting better. The thing about letting go of expectations, is that I actually find that when I do that, I end up expecting the worst (like, he's late again, of course). It makes me negative. I need to find the middle ground here.

He is obviously still drinking and has not worked on his own issues...Your H has deeper issues that only he knows about and only he can deal with them.

He has actually been working on them; he's still in therapy. But yes - I can't do anything for him except be compassionate.

Let him go so that at least you can move forward in your life.

I am moving forward, albeit at a slower pace than you are. I am not ready to stop Standing for my M. I am not divorced and, perhaps if that happens, I will move on definitively. But it hasn't happened, and there's no guarantee that it will.

AK, I know that your heart is in the right place, but I find this post very negative. I'm glad for you that you've found happiness in your post-divorce life, but the answer is not the same for all of us.

Tomorrow is my baptism! Better get to bed.