Well, you ask some excellent questions.... I really don't know how to answer the bipolar and MLC question, however, I can say from my own experience, it is difficult for me to separate bipolar and MLC. Both have such similar symptoms, while MLC seems to me, just another title for depression itself.
Please understand, I'm not trying to confuse you, as it seems you already have your hands full. I can tell you what I witnessed from my xh could have very well passed as bipolar, that's IF he would have been to a counselor or even a doctor and had been honest with the way he was feeling, emotionally and physically.
As for the stages, they are here as a general guideline, most don't follow those stages as they are written anyway, oh, they do go through the stages, but not always in the order or length of time given for the stages. I can tell you, he's in replay, but how long he will be there, is anyone's guess.
The blaming and rages, could have been in the preliminary stages of MLC, but also is common for men in depression, men get angry, not sad, like women do. Men blame others, feel angry, irritable and ego inflated, feel suspicious and guarded, create conflicts, sometimes are hostile, DEMAND respect from others, restless and agitated, change in sleeping patterns, uses alcohol, TV sports and sex to self medicate, often feel their problems could be solved if their spouse, parent or friend could just treat them better, often ask if they could be loved more or better.
Your only way you can help him, is to help yourself. Keep your focus on you, your children, making your home for you and your children a safe place. I know I sound callouse, but I have learned there is nothing you can do to save him, protect him from the things he is doing or may do.... for you will not be able to stop him, and if you try, he will feel like he is being controlled, and immediately RUN to the closest exit from your life together.
There are many great threads here listed on top of the board that were written by several people who have been here (some have moved on in their lives) for a long time yet have shared their insight with us. Sit back, get comfortable, read and get to know us here on the board, and if you have any questions, just jot them down in a post on your thread, and someone will be by to give you the answers you seek.
You have embarked on a very tough journey, that seems to take forever. You will find nearly all of us have been where you are today, and in time we have all found a way of dealing with all that is going on. It is hard, and at times it seems unbearable, yet we all learn and grow, in our own time.
Again, Welcome and know that you are not alone.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
