Very sorry to meet you here this way, especially at this time of year. Some things about your post are not so rare. Some may be more unique.
Of course you must first learn that no two mlc are alike. No matter how bad we hope to find some logic or rationale in this syndrome, accept there is none.
We hope to learn our loved one is mlc instead of just simply a WAS who has checked out emotionally, of their free will. We believe the more we understand of mlc, the more we can predict or analyze our situation.
We can't. We can't tell if they are mlc, or just a sudden mistake of nature. We can't tell if there is a difference between the two. We can't improve our own situation a great deal by focusing on what might be wrong with our spouse. We can focus on ourself. We can focus on a small positive each day, and try to make others smile. These things will make our day better, and in the end that is all that is important, because it is all that we can control, and it is the way our life was suppose to be.
We should not stop living just because someone we care a great deal about has fallend off life's radar for the time.They will bleep on and off for a while and we will hear the beep, so we don't have to stare at the screen.
Bipolar. Some books say the onset of mlc is a form of bipolar disease. We see them all demonstrate this. If your H is truely BP, you could be in a real tough place trying to make sense of this. MLC could exagerate his BP actions. His BP struggles could complicate his mlc transition. The two can drive you nuts. Don't wear yourself out with it.
Many of us have spent the last couple years reading about mlc. Some of us will spend the next year or two reading about re-inventing ourself. You should mix the two as you begin to examine mlc. Give yourself plenty of self development and positive direction during this time. Consider the new year a good time to set goals for yourself. Do not make them all about understanding mlc. No one does. They know things that may have contributed, they may know some things shared by those that come through mlc and return, but no one can say which MLCer will or won't. No one can tell us how to make our story turn out the way we think it should. It may. It may not. It can depend on you though.
If you become determined now to keep this from killing you inside, you can control the outcome. You can focus on yourself, the only person you have any control over. You can see this for what it is ... life. Unpredictable, uncontrollable, unexpected life. It is your life ... don't let anyone take it away from you.
Keep updating and others will share their own thoughts. Together we will all find our answers.
