I don't think that your W does want to divorce you. I think that , at least at this moment, she just wants a "regular" sex life more than the other benefits of being married to you. So, in a way Cobra is right when he says that you could tip the balance away from divorce if you indicated that she might lose even more "benefits" than she had anticipated if you were to divorce. But, IMO, this is just a move that will buy you some time in which you might be able to convince her that she is going to get what she wants/needs from the marriage.
This rings true. It's not just sex that she wants, but it's a big part of it. I think it's a bigger issue than even she will admit, frankly. Although she'll say it second on the list, it was the first thing to come up, and it's the one thing that continually resurfaces. Going back to what Lou said, she's probably scared of an uncertain future.
I woke up this morning feeling like I knew the direction I needed to take tonight. I'll put that later. But first, I've already had an email exchange this morning, just to show me how far I have to go :-/
My wife wrote late last night. My mom had forwarded her a web page for some female preacher's conference that's coming to town. One of the headlines on the page was "God can Fix You."
Here's the email I got from my wife:
"i guess your mom thinks i need to be "fixed" and you wonder why i get pissed off that everyone feels sorry for you!"
My response, unfortunately was:
"Heh. Mom has been FLOODING me with stuff to fix me. Books, DVDs, web sites, music."
My thought was that she was wrong and I needed to set her straight, which is paternalistic. And check out the "Heh." That says "you shouldn't be mad." THAT's the old Rigley. The one who can't allow anyone to be mad at anyone else. Truth was, I was mad at my mom too for all this. So I quickly followed up with another email, saying how p!ssed I was that she seemed to think everyone's problems could be instantly solved by reading some book.
I'm fighting an uphill battle here, because I have thought just like my mom. I can't stand it, always being afraid to rock the boat, never being allowed to raise my voice. Her actions DO make me angry, and if nothing else, I can jump in there with my wife and just be f**cking MAD!
