I don't think that your W does want to divorce you. I think that , at least at this moment, she just wants a "regular" sex life more than the other benefits of being married to you. So, in a way Cobra is right when he says that you could tip the balance away from divorce if you indicated that she might lose even more "benefits" than she had anticipated if you were to divorce. But, IMO, this is just a move that will buy you some time in which you might be able to convince her that she is going to get what she wants/needs from the marriage. When I was seriously considering leaving my H, I did think about things like the fact that I couldn't afford our house on my own and that slowed me down but it didn't take me too long to make the mental adjustment and think "Okay, no more nice big house that I spent years renovating but I can easily afford a nice loft apartment downtown in the historic district.". I thought A LOT about the loss of my H's friendship and time together as a family, but eventually I was able to envision a future of domestic rituals that involved just me and my children and new social attachments outside my marriage. So, I agree with Cobra in the short-run but not in the long-run.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
