I think it is important that you give your wife the message at some point that not only will she have to initiate the D if it is to happen, but that you will NOT be friends afterward.
This will be a reversal for me. In my previous, completely defeated state I told her that I did want to be friends. I was DESPERATE for her. But the way I feel now is that I do NOT deserve this, and for me to be friends with her afterward would be extrememly difficult. I would have to deny my true feelings.
For me to say that we will not be friends if she divorces me will be the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm still very much attached to her. But it comes back to self respect.
Thus far, I haven't even put it into words that she is doing this. She knows that's how I think of it, but so far I've said "if this happens" instead of "if you leave me." Either I'm protecting her, or protecting myself, but looking at it now, I think I'm aiding the cause of divorce by that double speak.
