Rigley,

I maybe can give you some insite into how a woman feels who has been rejected sexually. I will also add that my husband is now going through ED troubles right now. I was and am so hurt and angry. I feel stuck. I feel helpless. I feel like I am missing out on so much. I get envious of other couples who appear to be normal. I feel rejected and so unattractive. The anger part comes from, I think, that I would love to get thrown up on a bed and screwed hard by a man that desired me. But the anger comes in because I know that is morally wrong because I am married. Hence the feeling of being stuck and the anger comes in. I think the fact that your wife is still angry is a good sign that hopefully she isn't having an affair. She may still be struggling that IT IS morally wrong because she is still married. But the dangerous part for you is because she is seperated. Which may make it easier by the day for her to follow through with if a man starts paying her attention.

I think a good thing to do would be to show her the sexual side of you. Let her know how hungry you feel for her. Be honest with her and talk to her about your ED. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel. Men make the mistake of hiding this. I can understand the embarrassment. But it does no good to hide it. The one good thing that has happened in my marriage is that he has started to open up about it. He went to the doctor and has a precription for viagra if he needs it. The one thing I HAD to do with advice I got on here is to support him. I had to make the first move and talk to him about it. But he has opened up and told me how this makes him feel as a man. I am understanding more. But boy how I had wished he would open up to me. To make sure I knew it wasn't me. The other night he popped a viagra and stood up with this raging hard on and asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom. It really took me by surprise. He wanted to try out the viagra. But I felt so good about myself, about us, and about his desire for me. Because he didn't have to pop that pill unless he had wanted to. He has also initiated without the use of medicine. But I told him that I loved him and found him sexy no matter what. That I understood and he didn't have to feel nervous about doing anything with me. That I understood and didn't think less of him at all.
I think you can get to this place also. But you can't get there by avoiding this problem. Also if you were masturbating and not paying your wife attention it only adds to the mind games going on in her head. It only adds more to her anger.
I would send e-mails or leave messages that are maybe sexual. Ler her see that side of you. If you think she looked hot one day when you seen her let her know. If you think a sexual thought about her tell her. If you want to work on things be honest and tell her. If you don't wish to divorce be down right honest with her and tell her you will fight her on it. Maybe she is pushing you hard right now because she wants to see a strong man.

Maybe I am just rambling.