Quote:

I wonder if y'all made a suicide pact and you backed out of it if she would feel abandoned.


I apologize for this. That was over the top and uncalled for. Very sorry.


I guess what I'm thinking is that if she will not go through with a divorce unless YOU initiate and carry it out, your fear is not so much that SHE will go to a lawyer and serve papers on you, as it is that she will persuade YOU to do it. Does that make sense? You're afraid that you will cave in and do what she wants against your will and against your better judgment-- is that it?

But if that is so... examine for a moment the irony and absurdity of that position (meaning absolutely no disrespect... in fact, I have a LOT of respect for you):

1) she is angry at you and wants a divorce
2) she wants YOU to agree to a D and set it in motion
3) you're afraid you might give in and do it
4) SO SHE WON'T BE ANGRY WITH YOU

So you're in a dammed if you do, dammed if you don't sitch. It's your fear of her anger that keeps you there, not your fear of D. Because she has made it clear she won't D unless you do it.

And, as has already been suggested here (and you've figured out, too), your fear of HER anger is really your fear of YOUR anger... so, theoretically, if you spend some time "getting in touch with" your anger, that should release some of the pressure... and you can do this on your own, in a journal, or do it here. I don't think you should share with her until you get an idea of the magnitude of yours.

Sunday morning New Year's Eve thoughts......