Quote: It has to be extremely difficult, because the times that I haven't responded to her approach have been extremely hurtful to her.
This is because she viewed your rejection as both a rejection of her physical appearance and an indication that you didn't really love her. If she is generally a physically affectionate person, it is probably the case that for her sex is the ultimate expression of love. So when you sexually rejected her it was as if you refused to give her a hug but a 1000 times worse. Therefore, if she cried when you rejected her it was probably a 50/50 mix of self-pity and real heartbreak. In her mind, it's not just that you didn't want to have sex with her, you didn't care to make love to her either. It's unfortunate that she has put the burden of proving your love on your uncooperative penis because I'm sure that it makes it harder for you to perform. However, she is not in a place right now where she'll be able to feel much empathy. I don't agree with BF that she is probably having an affair but I do agree that she is probably looking to have one. She is currently an easy mark for any sweet-talker with a hard-on. I really hope for both of your sakes that she doesn't allow herself to be "rescued" in this way. The fact that you describe her as being "fun" makes me think that she probably is a Type 7 like me and HP. When I was in the phase that she is in (unfortunately I still sink back to this level on occasion in response to lame-o behavior from my H), I became addicted to hip-hop music and started wearing low rise jeans and tight t-shirts out in public. Luckily, I also joined this BB or my marriage would have been history. If she is a Type 7, clearly you can improve your appeal by being more fun. For instance, one time I was angry at my H because he didn't show up for a sex date as promised and he said "But I did take you to see fireworks.". That worked. Type 7s are like the Roman masses sexually, just give them some bread (regular weekly RDA of sex) and circuses (make it exciting or interesting on occasion) and they'll be happy.
Quote: Fortunately I have never, not even once, made a derrogatory comment about her weight.
Don't listen to what BF has to say on this subject. You are a smart man.
Quote: What she doesn't realize is that the thing I find most attractive about her is her smile. And she gives that to me so infrequently.
It might be good to tell her this. Even though my H has blamed his LD on my appearance, he says things like this too. For instance, once when I said something similar to your wife about looking yucko in a picture, he said "You look attractive to me in that picture because you are happy.". Saying something like this to your wife won't make her want to jump your bones but it will make her less LD for being in a relationship with you.
Quote: a man is standing in front of her limp and desperate
Since this man is limp can we pretend he's someone else? And can I be standing in front of her too with a rock hard erection? Sorry, that may be too much from Friday morning.
ROTFLMAO. I think that would be your meditation, not hers. Though you could start making obscene phone calls to her along those lines. If she is truly my clone, she might pretend to be offended but actually be intrigued. A little bad boy behavior from you, given your history, might not be a bad thing. Maybe you should buy a motorcycle AND an extra helmet.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
