I really do understand this. I've been in relationships, both romantic ones and same-sex friendships, where I wanted to share/tell everything all the time. It was almost as if an event hadn't really happened to me until I had shared it. It became apparent in some of these R's that on my side was a subtle element of "proving myself"-- proving that I'm okay, that I'm interesting, that I'm a good friend, that the other person's occasionally negative opinion of me was not justified. It's as if I always felt on trial and needed to share my internal life to prove that I was okay. My internal life didn't feel "real" until I had bounced it off someone else.

I don't believe much of this was coming from the other person (except insofar as we attract people whose issues mesh well with our own). And let's face it, our society is full of pressure to share, be part of a couple, blend with someone else... and back to that stupid quote from "Jerry McGuire," "you complete me." We're raised to believe that somehow we're less if we are not meshed with someone.

But go back to Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" (the preferred wedding gift for anyone married between 1968 and 1973 I got a copy for my first wedding)...
Quote:

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

If you can track down a copy of The Prophet (amazon link) I'll bet you'd like it. It's beautiful.

I'm an only child and have no children. I've always been a loner/outsider, too, and most of my life I've felt diminished because of it. That started to change when I was in my 40's and married my late husband.

Is her (y'all's) best friend male or female?