Rig, I know your first impulse is to run to her and share that insight, imagining that she'll fall into your arms in gratitude-- don't. Just keep it to yourself for now and LIVE it. You can't do her work for her. But if you do YOUR work, she'll be free to sort hers out unencumbered. I have high hopes for you two.
And bravo for seeing the poor me's in your family. You ARE seeing the light, man!
