Not: I'm sorry. What can I do. I love you anyway. Don't be angry. Everything's going to be all right.
Do you see how those responses take away from her dignity? They imply that she CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. Is that a light bulb over your head?
If you're not responsible for her anger (and you're not) then you don't need to say I'm sorry. And you don't need to fix, because she pointed out that she can fix stuff herself.
This is not to be applied globally.... it doesn't mean you can never do anything for her. But in the sitch where she's trying to pull you into the pit, just acknowledge-- PERIOD. With no other content.
Gotta run... I'll check back later.
I'm so glad you're finding this exciting-- it IS exciting!
