I am proud of myself. I am taking responsibility for my issues, and dealing with them. I am responding to a horrible situation with patience and love. I am refusing to let hate and resentment take me over.
But there are things I need to work on. I've got to be careful not to agree with everything my wife says, not to accept blame for things I haven't done. She says I'm wearing my ring to get sympathy. That's not true, and I don't need to defend myself.
She's blaming me for making her the bad guy, for not joining with her in ending the marriage. I don't know exactly what she's thinking...maybe secretly she just wants me to make the hard decisions. I know from the move out and telling the children experiences that she pushed all the way up to the last minute, and then stepped back and made me make the call. If that's what she's doing, it's her issue to deal with. I'm not going to spend my time trying to analyze her or show her what she's doing. For my part, I know that I'm not trying to make her the bad guy, I'm trying to restore our relationship. If she chooses to get ugly, she will do that. I will not. EVER.
I've got to be careful about looking to her for comfort. She cannot possibly give me comfort in her current state, she can only ignore or hurt me. I WILL take comfort from our friends, without talking about my wife, and I will NOT let her make me feel like a loser for doing so.
My main responsibilities are to myself and my children. I will not beat up on myself, and I will be completely engaged in life, not sitting around waiting for my wife to change.
I am still in this because of my commitment to my marriage, my commitment to my children, and my belief that my wife is just going through a phase that she can, if she chooses to, get over before we dissolve our marriage. I am working on my issues, and stalling divorce, so she can have the opportunity to change her mind.
