God help me! I can't stand her C! She had a C session today, I posted about this above. There is always a blowout after her C session. You can set your watch by it. She comes out with the "I have to take care of ME" mantra and anything else is unacceptable.
I called to talk to the kids and W got on the phone. I asked how she is feeling and such. She said okay, I could tell something was up. Then she started to say something but stopped. I asked her what was on her mind and she just wouldn't come out with it. Finally I said, you know sometimes the uncertainty drives me batty. She asked what I mean. I told her that one of my friends just got served with D papers and it totally caught him off guard. That is the uncertainty I'm dealing with right now. So I asked, (shouldn't have I know), am I going to get served? She said no, but....
I asked what do you mean but? She then said she hadn't even talked to an attorney yet, but was thinking about it.
What the heck? A few good days and then talk to an attorney? Where does this come from?
She said she just can't trust me with her. She doesn't want to. Trust is broken.
I didn't know what to say. I just let her talk. I asked if she had a timeline, do you know when you are going to talk to the attorney and what is it going to cost? She has no idea.
Then she said, "I don't know, I'm just confused." (I might have made a mistake here), I said, listen we've been together for 19 years, that's a long time, just give me 18 months to prove myself, that things are different, the changes are permanent and you can trust me. She didn't answer and we ended the phone call.
This just hard, there is no other way to describe it.
She called back an hour later and said she is getting more sick and might return to the emergency room tonight after the kids are in bed. I asked her to wait for me or I can leave work early to take her. I asked her to please let me help her tonight. She seemed receptive. This is such a challenge. Highs then lows, followed by highs then lows.
God I want to do what is right, yet how can I when she is set on the D?
