Still keeping my PMA going. Getting better at it actually. I had to leave very early this morning, she walked to the door with me, we hugged and she gave me a couple of quick kisses before I left.
You know this is the danger area. Because I want so bad for everything to be great, and that passion that I know she has to be mine again, that for a second as I left I started to slide downhill, thinking when will I ever get there. I felt like my mom was sending me off to school, quick hug and a peck with a have a nice day. The good thing is I almost instantly snapped out of that negative thought before it began the cascade that has occurred in the past.
I began to thank God for the babysteps. To be mindful of the things Michele writes about in DR, not to push, to give space, to cheerlead and to take note of the babysteps and be grateful for each one.
By the time I got to my car I was back on the PMA track, feeling great about the progress that has been made and moving forward with my day, knowing that good things are in store.
In the DB category, I have really been thinking a lot about the words, 'man of faith'. What that means, how to get there, how to pleases God, how to work on the parts of me that still doubt. I believe, help my unbelief type thing. I know I will get there, no one just becomes faith filled but sometimes working out how to get there from here is pretty difficult.
Or maybe I'm making it harder than it needs to be. Maybe it is, just believe.
One thing came to me yesterday. I was in the shower and just thinking about all I the damage I have done. I'm watching the water and I started to remember the story of the prophet that took on the priests of Baal. He poured water and more water on his sacrifice. Making it seem impossible for God to do anything. Yet God did anyway and it made God's work even more impressive.
I've done a lot of damage yet that is just making the work God is doing even more impressive.
