Your insight is great, she really is doing everything she can to justify her feelings. At one point I said, feelings change, how can we make a life decision based on feelings that can change with time and the right environment?
Her only answer was, it hasn't yet. I totally agree, unfortunately. I know the circumstances have never been different, until now. I know that even when I first began to read DR and lurk on these boards I wasn't really working at it. I was still thinking I would take a step, then she would take a step. So much of what I was doing was in anticipation of her response. I have now fully accepted the concept, It takes One to Tango. I know that now. Not that I have a choice.
She also said something about its been so long. I told that I understand and yet I still have faith and hope. I told her that I remember how she did look at me when her love for me wasn't buried under all that hurt and disappointment, I remember how incredibly great it felt to hear her say ILY when things weren't in their present state. Knowing that those feelings are still in there, just buried in a safe place away from the possibility of disappointment gives me hope.
Of course, she said that was then, I could have had all of that and it could have grown even greater by now, its gone and she doesn't want to try to get it back.
All I could say then was okay. She left. I posted here and then she called to invite me to the movie. I gotta believe that the little things she does for me and with me IS that love peeking out, I would give anything to get it to stay out here and know its safe.
