Osu: Yeah, she might want her guilt relieved by seeing you with another person. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm not putting my foot down with my H's XG. However, I think the main reason is I feel I don't have any room to talk.
I agree with you on that. I do know whoever I will come out of this a better and stronger person for my kids and I. Not to mention my next R let it be with the W or with someone else who would appriciate me.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
I agree with you on that. I do know whoever I will come out of this a better and stronger person for my kids and I. Not to mention my next R let it be with the W or with someone else who would appriciate me.
My H says the same thing. I know that I will do things a heck of a lot differently.
I don't want to lose him or my M. (H's standard reply - then why did you work so hard to accomplish it...7 yr - on again off again A)
I have been a selfish brat all my life. Taking from others and not giving in return. I see all of that now. And on the brink of losing everything....I want to change all of that - I have gotten my head out of my @$$ (as you often say about your W). I see that he has given me the world and I pushed it aside. What I wouldn't do to be the person deserving of that again.
Sigh: I'm sorry for highjacking your post (she said realizing that she was being selfish again....)
He wants honesty, and yet when I ask for the same, he is sure to bring up the past and say you weren't honest with me. He thought he was best to hide it from me because he knew it would hurt me if he told me.
First - never assume what he is going to say. There is something on these boards about "Forget what you Know"....we can't assume that we know anything at this point in time.
Second - tell him that hiding things from each other (especially now) isn't helping anything.
If he throws the "you weren't honest with me" - my reaction would be to say "No, I wasn't...but now I've seen the type of damage hiding things can do." Not sure if this is a good response, since what I say always seems to backfire.
Quote: I do not know about that. My W seems like she wants me to start dating other people. Maybe it is her guilt and for a reason to justify what she is doing but screw that, I am definitly not that type of person.
Os, you have got that one right. She thinks it will ease her guilt and justify her actions if you "go out and date."
I told her that I did think it was right for her to take the kids around the OM until we were D'ed (that was before I knew he was a sex offender) and her response was "I would not care if you took them around your GF when you find one" I simply said I am not like that and you know where I stand.
She really thinks that I am stupid. I mean she does not talk to me unless it has to do with the kids. The reason is that I can still see the confusion on her face everynow and then. It is just easier for her if I am outta sight.
She is definitly in full fledged phsyco mode right now... O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
H thinks that I should date other people and really know after that if he is the one. He's so unsure of my feelings for him. Understandable. I just keep praying.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
