Hello, This is my first post and I will try to keep this brief. My H was cheating on me for a year. I was suspicious and asked him to end the R with OW for a long time. Our own PR was non-existent for 9 months. I have enabled our R financially for years and started asking for him to help me. He did not think I supported him anymore when I would not give him money. He continually lied to me all those months and eventually moved out when I confronted him with real proof. He had not filed for divorce and said that he still wanted to be married all the while seeing the OW after he left. A month after leaving, the OW ended the R and now he won't leave me alone. He wants me to immediately forgive, have a Physical R and pick up where we left off. I see so many issues with our R as it is plain unhealthy. He has been suicidal, pleading forgiveness and actually had our 16D lie for him when he was spending time with the OW children awhile back. In addition, the OW contacted my older daughters to try and start a relationship with them right before she ended their R. I do not feel there is anything left. I don't feel love and mistrust him on so many levels. He has used the kids, only committed fully to our M when the OW was gone, sometimes threatens suicide and continually texts me, calls and asks me for dates. I have asked for space yet he wants a hug every time we see each other when exchanging kids. I don't want to lead him on and feel that he needs to be a healthy individual before we can even have a healthy marriage. Isn't is unusual that the cheater is the one pleading for the marriage? I now go out with friends and have a good job so I can be strong. I feel that I need to be strong for the kids and not pressure them in any way. Also, he still is not taking full responsibility for the affair. He says that he made mistakes but that I bear some responsibility for the reasons he had the affair. Sorry, but that was his choice and I have been faithful for 20+ years. I paid most of the bills, cleaned the house while he was able to play quite a bit so I felt justified in asking for help. Shouldn't a cheater be completely humble? What does it mean when you say full responsibility? He just makes me responsible for his happiness and I just can't do it anymore. I am done!
