Lael, I've not read your original thread, so maybe I lack some perspective here.
My wife left in September after a suicide attempt. She had an affair in September with a 22 year old. She moved into her apartment in October, which is also when I found out that she was also in an ongoing R with an old boyfriend who lives 500 miles away (in our home state). Shortly after she moved into her apartment, I visited her one night and we wound up ML. When I left I felt dirty in some way, as W was different during our intimacy.
That didn't stop me from ML with her again about a week later. But again, there was something not right about it, though obviously I enjoyed being intimate with her.
Eventually I realized what was not right. My wife was also sleeping with another man. We were not husband and wife making love anymore, we were having sex. She wanted sex, I had a need for sex, and she was wanting to satisfy her need without making changes in her decisions. I realized that I could not do that anymore.
After two months now with no intimacy, by both our choices I believe now, I can't say that I wouldn't give in to the opportunity again. But a regular once a week time of intimacy? Especially without committment, with the OM still potentially hanging in the background? My guess is that if I thought about it, I'd find a desire to turn off the intimacy with wife, were we in your situation.
Just offering thoughts. I guess I wonder if your husband is doing a little cake eating right now. He is not prepared to say he's done with OW, but they are at least on hiatus right now. So now he's spending his time with you.
I guess if you feel like you're getting what you need from it, and you're comfortable with it, then it's cool for you. I'm not sure if I would be able to stay cool with it in my case.
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
