One step at a time.........

[PositivelyListening]

Hi BND, I can relate so much to your story from yesterday. I am trucking along doing fine, managing it all, and then all of a sudden something happens and I get overwhelmed and resentful. And that's me, with all my kids out of the house and a beautiful home and still... So I think of you, and what you are managing, and I think YEAH - of all people, BND deserves someone to take care of her, to be there for her. It's no fair. But you are right, you are not willing to be a victim. Fact is we chose these lives we have, the kids, the house, the car, etc. even if we have a picture in our mind of wanting something else sometimes. And that's the good news You have been awesome, BND, and you have been tenacious and loving. You are a strong, powerful, amazing woman or you wouldn't be here. That truck would have gone off the cliff, or you would have been put in the funny farm long ago otherwise. You want to make a change, you will be able to figure out how to make it happen. You need help? I am quite sure there are at least 50 people that would jump to your aid (many of whom are on this BB) but people at your church, your community members too. I know this is so, because I know who you are.

I have the illusion that I live in also, that I have to do it alone, that there is no one there to help, that it is all up to me. But it is a made-up story and it is not the truth. I go there sometimes, it is a familiar feeling and way of being for me. But now, less and less, do I believe it's real. Only that it is familiar, so I can suffer in my familiar way a little bit before I get over it and go back to being powerful.

It is different being powerful, rather than just being strong. Strong is a learned coping behavior, powerful can never be lost, it never goes away, I can call upon it at any time. You are a powerful person BND. You have the gift, the connection to the divine source of infinite power. Anything is possible.

Meanwhile, when I am "disconnected" from that, when I have forgotten, it is a good time to regroup - meditate or pray, take a long hot shower, be grateful for what is working.

A stranger helped you in the intersection. The mechanic let you know that your S needs a loving grown-up conversation about responsibility and looking out for each other. Your H wants to help, even from 3000 miles away, not because he sees you as not managing well, but because he loves you and he wants to take care of you. And on top of all that, you saw that you were a little "off" and you decided to go to the place where you know the power resides, and reclaim yourself.

You have it all BND. Your life is blessed, and you are a blessing to others. Take some time for yourself today. Hug your kids and take a few moments to appreciate nature around you.

Thank you so much for coming to my thread. You said to me exactly what I needed to hear. I wish I could fix and change every little thing that feels like an obstacle to you right now, BND. But what is coming is even better. Because it is all working, unfolding as it should, all for your good.

I have one piece of advice, if I may. Notice when help is offered, what you do with that. Are you uncomfortable, do you feel ashamed, do you feel like you should say no, do you feel obligated, or do you just refuse it? I noticed a while back how I was denying the good that was coming to me. As if I didn't deserve it, or shouldn't take it. People want to contribute to you BND. Ask for help. Let them help, and love you in this way. People want to contribute, they want to be of service. You know how good it feels when someone asks you to do something for them that they really need, and you do it well and they are so grateful? Do not deny the people in your life the opportunity and privilege of contributing to you. It is not about your level of competence. It is about letting people in, it is about love.

Joy to you BND. Do something good for yourself today. And find some things to laugh about! You have some good stories