I ran to do a quick errand and the truck died in the middle of an intersection
It was then that I realized I had nobody to call to come and help me and I burst into tears. I know I am having a pity party but it is times like this when reality sets in and my situation seems bleak.
A stranger helped me to push my car accross the street and we tried to jump start it, but nothing worked. So after much fuss I had the truck towed. It needs a new fuel pump to the tune of $600 The best part was that the mechanic told me that he had spoken to my S20 about this problem a little while ago. Thanks S20 for letting me know!
During my little crisis, my H called me and I was calm, and told him what happened. He wanted to know why I didn't call him. UMMM....... He is 3000 miles away, at work....why would I do that? Anyway, he will pay for the repair and I am thrilled that he was so gracious about everything.
I hate telling him when things go a bit awry over here. It makes me feel like I can't cope. I do not want to appear like I can't handle things. I know that this situation was out of my control but I felt so dumb and inadequate.
Maybe I have been alone for too long now and have the wrong mindset?
Not being able to count on anyone and have to basically fend for myself has changed my thinking. I feel angry at times because this wasn't the way things were supposed to be.
I do not want to have a victim's mentality or feel sorry for myself but none of this is fair. Please don't tell me that life is unfair, I already know that.
It is times like this that I want to ream my MIL for the damage she has done. Yesterday was also my late FIL's Birthday. It has now been over 4 years since he passed away.
So for today I need to change my attitude and get back on track. I can't allow my circumstances to affect my moods and the progress I have made. I think I just want a break from the insanity of it all. Waiting and waiting. Living in limbo.
Guess I had better go back and sit quietly in the Refiners Fire, I was doing better over there
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
