"Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. "Quick, get up!" he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. Then the angel said to him, "Put on your clothes and sandals." And Peter did so. "Wrap your cloak around you and follow me," the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him." Acts 12:7-10
Peter was in prison. The Lord sent an angel to lead him out. Chains were miraculously falling off, and they were about to walk right past guards, and see iron gates opened. This passage relates that, "Peter followed him out of the prison, but had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening,"
The description of Peter sounds like so many returning prodigals, including my husband; no idea what God is doing is really happening. Over and over we have heard men and women relate of their journey home and tell us, in one way or another, "I don't know why, but I suddenly felt I should..."
Are you ready for your mate's return? No, not, "I've had enough of this being alone and standing," but are you prepared for the restor- ation process to start? If you are praying and standing with God for the return of your spouse, we want to give you a checklist that you might need on that grand day:
A) What will be my first words? Will they build up or tear down?
B) Have I forgiven my spouse--for everything?
C) Will I have to secretly delete any of my email?
D) Whom will I call first to share my miracle?
E) How long will it take for me to remember to thank God?
F) Will my prodigal's closet be empty and ready?
G) Is there anyone that I will not want my spouse to meet by accident?
H) Will my wedding ring already be on my hand?
I) Have I said anything about my spouse that I will regret?
J) Will I have a time set aside daily to be alone with the Lord?
K) Will I remember to tell the marriage ministry that has helped me?
L) Will I allow my mate to heal before ministering to other couples?
M) Will I be thankful every day, regardless of the circumstances?
Throughout the Bible, God moved suddenly. Most prodigals return home suddenly. In the past two days we have heard from two standers whose spouses came home without warning. Our prayer is that you will always be ready. Our desire is not to simply have your spouse home, but that your marriage will be restored. Plan today for tomorrow with the one you love.
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." I Peter 3:15a
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Hi BND, Thank you so much for that. I needed the checklist, keeps me present and intentional about what I am up to. If you have a moment, please read my latest developments. Some things are shifting in my sitch. Love to hear your take.
God bless you on your H's return. No one could be more deserving than you. I learn from you, and am grateful. Blessings, BND to you, your H and your children.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I ran to do a quick errand and the truck died in the middle of an intersection
It was then that I realized I had nobody to call to come and help me and I burst into tears. I know I am having a pity party but it is times like this when reality sets in and my situation seems bleak.
A stranger helped me to push my car accross the street and we tried to jump start it, but nothing worked. So after much fuss I had the truck towed. It needs a new fuel pump to the tune of $600 The best part was that the mechanic told me that he had spoken to my S20 about this problem a little while ago. Thanks S20 for letting me know!
During my little crisis, my H called me and I was calm, and told him what happened. He wanted to know why I didn't call him. UMMM....... He is 3000 miles away, at work....why would I do that? Anyway, he will pay for the repair and I am thrilled that he was so gracious about everything.
I hate telling him when things go a bit awry over here. It makes me feel like I can't cope. I do not want to appear like I can't handle things. I know that this situation was out of my control but I felt so dumb and inadequate.
Maybe I have been alone for too long now and have the wrong mindset?
Not being able to count on anyone and have to basically fend for myself has changed my thinking. I feel angry at times because this wasn't the way things were supposed to be.
I do not want to have a victim's mentality or feel sorry for myself but none of this is fair. Please don't tell me that life is unfair, I already know that.
It is times like this that I want to ream my MIL for the damage she has done. Yesterday was also my late FIL's Birthday. It has now been over 4 years since he passed away.
So for today I need to change my attitude and get back on track. I can't allow my circumstances to affect my moods and the progress I have made. I think I just want a break from the insanity of it all. Waiting and waiting. Living in limbo.
Guess I had better go back and sit quietly in the Refiners Fire, I was doing better over there
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND I know exactly how you feel. When I arrived home from work about two hours ago I found the severe winds we are experiencing had blown open my garage door. thankfuly I was home 3 hours earlier than usual so luckily nobody had walked in and taken any of our possessions for themselves.
When I got into the house and looked out of my kitchen window I realised that half the fence panels surrounding my garden have also been blown over. This is nothing new. The same panels always blow out when we have such severe weather BUT normally I have H to fix them. Yes I feel very inadequate and even more alone than I normally do.
The plus side for you is that you know your 'trial' is coming to an end. I'm still going through all that you have survived. It can only be a matter of days now before your H is safely back in your home. So forget for a while about that fuel pump and start thinking sexy lingerie and all the fun that goes with it!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Hi BND, I can relate so much to your story from yesterday. I am trucking along doing fine, managing it all, and then all of a sudden something happens and I get overwhelmed and resentful. And that's me, with all my kids out of the house and a beautiful home and still... So I think of you, and what you are managing, and I think YEAH - of all people, BND deserves someone to take care of her, to be there for her. It's no fair. But you are right, you are not willing to be a victim. Fact is we chose these lives we have, the kids, the house, the car, etc. even if we have a picture in our mind of wanting something else sometimes. And that's the good news You have been awesome, BND, and you have been tenacious and loving. You are a strong, powerful, amazing woman or you wouldn't be here. That truck would have gone off the cliff, or you would have been put in the funny farm long ago otherwise. You want to make a change, you will be able to figure out how to make it happen. You need help? I am quite sure there are at least 50 people that would jump to your aid (many of whom are on this BB) but people at your church, your community members too. I know this is so, because I know who you are.
I have the illusion that I live in also, that I have to do it alone, that there is no one there to help, that it is all up to me. But it is a made-up story and it is not the truth. I go there sometimes, it is a familiar feeling and way of being for me. But now, less and less, do I believe it's real. Only that it is familiar, so I can suffer in my familiar way a little bit before I get over it and go back to being powerful.
It is different being powerful, rather than just being strong. Strong is a learned coping behavior, powerful can never be lost, it never goes away, I can call upon it at any time. You are a powerful person BND. You have the gift, the connection to the divine source of infinite power. Anything is possible.
Meanwhile, when I am "disconnected" from that, when I have forgotten, it is a good time to regroup - meditate or pray, take a long hot shower, be grateful for what is working.
A stranger helped you in the intersection. The mechanic let you know that your S needs a loving grown-up conversation about responsibility and looking out for each other. Your H wants to help, even from 3000 miles away, not because he sees you as not managing well, but because he loves you and he wants to take care of you. And on top of all that, you saw that you were a little "off" and you decided to go to the place where you know the power resides, and reclaim yourself.
You have it all BND. Your life is blessed, and you are a blessing to others. Take some time for yourself today. Hug your kids and take a few moments to appreciate nature around you.
Thank you so much for coming to my thread. You said to me exactly what I needed to hear. I wish I could fix and change every little thing that feels like an obstacle to you right now, BND. But what is coming is even better. Because it is all working, unfolding as it should, all for your good.
I have one piece of advice, if I may. Notice when help is offered, what you do with that. Are you uncomfortable, do you feel ashamed, do you feel like you should say no, do you feel obligated, or do you just refuse it? I noticed a while back how I was denying the good that was coming to me. As if I didn't deserve it, or shouldn't take it. People want to contribute to you BND. Ask for help. Let them help, and love you in this way. People want to contribute, they want to be of service. You know how good it feels when someone asks you to do something for them that they really need, and you do it well and they are so grateful? Do not deny the people in your life the opportunity and privilege of contributing to you. It is not about your level of competence. It is about letting people in, it is about love.
Joy to you BND. Do something good for yourself today. And find some things to laugh about! You have some good stories
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
BND... You have been incredibly strong and have managed so much, yet another task heads your way, and that is allowing yourself to trust H to help you, and handling the fear that he'll leave if it all gets too out of hand. He is coming back to you, BND, to fill his shoes as a man...he wants and needs this. Let him step in, and take good care of yourself, so that you can be the admiring, respectful and lovely person he needs you to be. Your beauty and love will shine through, as it does here and elsewhere in your life.
Although I know you are correct I am not ready to make peace at this time with MIL.
I have absolutely no argument with anything you wrote to me.
I have to deal with one thing at a time and MIL is not on my list of things to do.
Although I might sound like a spoiled brat right now, I still feel as though nobody in the family acknowledges any of the pain I have been through, nor that of my children. Instead of being a support to me, they turned their backs on us and pretended like we didn't exist.
Nobody stepped in to see if things were OK, or asked if we needed help. Maybe this is why I refrain from asking for help nowadays. It is hard to believe that strangers are kinder to me then family.
I love my Husband (and I really should post a couple of the lovely emails I have received from him this past week), and I would never do anything to stop him from having a relationship with his Mother.
I vent here but not to him about my struggles with her. He too has mentioned some of the things she has done to me and feels she has issues.
I am hurt that after over 20 years of being her only DIL and being the Mother of her only Grandchildren, that she would turn her back on me. Our relationship wasn't always this way.
I will get over this one day, I know it is wrong but give me just a little more time.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
The C here at my school told me one time that when she has to work with a particularly difficult parent, she pictures her with a big "S" on her forehead to remind her that this person is sick. It helps her to put the meeting/ situation/ experience into perspective. Maybe something like that will help with your MIL.
New question: I saw a reference to a Brazilian the other day on your thread. How badly did that hurt?
You have been awesome, BND, and you have been tenacious and loving. You are a strong, powerful, amazing woman or you wouldn't be here. That truck would have gone off the cliff, or you would have been put in the funny farm long ago otherwise. You want to make a change, you will be able to figure out how to make it happen. You need help? I am quite sure there are at least 50 people that would jump to your aid (many of whom are on this BB) but people at your church, your community members too. I know this is so, because I know who you are.