One step at a time.........

[brandnewday]

I wrote an email to my Husband last week.
I just got a reply.
I think on the whole it is positive, even though there are still a few tell tale signs of the MLC still lurking.
But I would still have to call this progress.
Snodderly if you around, can you give me some insight please.

Dear Wife,

I am sorry I have taken so long to respond. It has been important. I needed some time to let your message ferment and give you a proper response.

First, I want to say that I have enjoyed the positive changes you have made in your life. They have encouraged me and strengthened me in ways you do not understand.

You have to understand that you have not been a partner to me for a very long time. Many times I literally cried to you with my needs. I will never know why you were so harsh. But what I know now is that I LIKE who you are now and I LOVE you as a person, a friend, a mom to my children and as my wife.

This fear you have of "ghosts" is understandable. You should be fearful. I was strong enough to walk away from abuse and I can do it again. But, I want you to know I am now 100% invested in you. Before, I was only invested in myself. I don't have anything unresolved or lingering or unfinished business stuck in my head. I think your word security blanket is fair.

I like being respected and listened to and not fearful of saying the wrong thing. I have an artist's heart and I needed to express myself. Frankly, I enjoyed a safe harbor where I was not yelled at or judged. It was a safe place I could heal and rediscover who I am.

I am stronger and better because of it. And, you are enjoying the benefits.

Now that you have chosen to make hard and important changes in your life you are finally providing me with what I need in a wife...including the sexual part.

Your choices not only strengthen you, they strengthen me. They are comforting and reassuring and respectful and attractive...I could go on and on. Why would I leave something so wonderful and perfect?

Still, you and I have need for individual privacy. And, yes, no secrets. I totally agree. But, because you have removed your punitive attitude and become more reasonable, I have no fear sharing with you. I also believe you have built up so much confidence you have nothing to fear, either.

I am looking forward to you and I finally putting our baggage behind us and enjoying a rich and satisfying life together.

I am sorry it has taken me so long to write back. But, I want you to know you are the most important person in my life. You are the first one I think of in the morning. And, you are the last one I think of at night.

Happy New Year
Husband