One step at a time.........

[brandnewday]

J
I am muddling through today and trying to stay happy...or at least keep a smile on my face.
MIL is on my s**t list and I think this last scheme of hers has won her manipulator of the year award.
Today my H told her that he wanted to leave by noon to beat the traffic, as he has to work tomorrow.
MIL told him he can't leave until 3 as her sister won't be there 'til then.
Of course he conceded.
I have tried so hard not to be controlling and to not interfere.
It is times like this I want to just scream when I see what she is doing and he says nothing about it.
In my head I try to tell myself it doesn't really matter, that she isn't important.
But she is HIS Mother, not OW.
For over 20 years I have been a part of that bloody family and until this MLCBS happened, his family always sent Christmas cards and called occasionally.
Now nothing.
Not one Christmas card or a phone call in over 2 years.
We are not Divorced, I wasn't the one who left.
My children don't even know who these people are anymore.
************
The kids enjoyed the movie, it was fun for them.
We didn't get home til almost midnight and so they slept in this morning til 7..!!!
My H called me to wish me a Merry Christmas and we spoke for about an hour.
He keeps trying to reassure me that WE are going to be OK, that he will be home soon and not to worry.
I have become to used to dissapointment that I no longer have expectations and maybe that makes me cynical now.
I don't like that part of me, but I think it is a necessary evil now, maybe a survival mechanism.
I love my Husband, and I am looking forward to my future but it is going to take alot of time before I can completely let my guard down.
I still can't "say" I love you, the words seem to have trouble leaving my mouth.
I do enjoy hearing those words from him, I just want action now, no more words.

Anyway, I have to go and check on dinner.
Blessings.....
XXX