Oh, well, I guess that idea wasn't possible. I agree that "mami" is being selfish. I can see why you'd be frustrated. Too bad air fare doesn't grow on trees!
Hang in there and try to focus on the positive. He'll have the chance to miss you, right?
As I sit here and drink my 2nd glass of amazing Riesling, I am thinking about my journey and where I was 3 years ago, 2 years ago and even just last year.
This time last year I was waiting for the papers to be served to me. I was having major anxiety and I was barely able to function.
This time last year my H had been gone for many months to pursue his happiness 3000 miles away and the kids and I were left alone to fend for ourselves, and we survived!!
My D6 was in the hospital and I was driving back and forth 2 hours each day and juggling the rest of the kids. But I managed and I overcame that ordeal and Christmas came and went and we were OK.
Last year at this time I never would have believed it if someone had told me that I would be hearing I love You's from my Husband again.
I never would have believed that he would want to be home with me and start over and rebuild our relationship. I was so sure that we would be Divorced by the end of 2006.
So many things have happened this past year, and most of them have been hard but good learning experiences for me.
I have had to grow up and I have had to learn how to be independent.
I think I know what I want out of life now and although I know I want my marriage, I am not afraid to be alone anymore. My priorities have changes and the rose colored glasses have come off. I see so much clearer now and sometimes that is a little scarey.
I am trying so hard to have a sense of humor about my Husband spending Christmas with his Mommy and her sisters.
He really does not like any of them and is already complaining and he hasn't even arrived there yet.
He was supposed to leave tonight, but has pushed it back and will now be leaving Saturday night. He told me today how much he wished he could be here with us and that he was feeling really down today.
So I guess all of these things are positive and the end of this journey will be here soon and I will be starting another one, with my Beloved.
Sorry if I am rambling on and on, the wine is getting to me tonight and I am feeling a little nostalgic.
I have almost a half a bottle left if anyone would like to join me
Last edited by brandnewday; 12/22/0612:17 AM.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Hi BND, What a wonderful story! I like it. I am so happy for you that your H really wants to be with you rather than his mom/sisters. Enjoy your wine. I like Mavrodaphne by the way - a pretty sweet Greek red wine. Merry Christmas, with your kids! PS: Getting my second round of waxing punishement tomorrow. PH
It's almost a cliche now that Christmas and similar holidays are very stressful times, even for "normal" (what that, eh??) relationships and families - how much more so for all of us struggling with marital issues. I've been thinking about why these holidays are so stressful, and it must be something to do with groups of people trying to shoehorn their feelings into ill-fitting situations so that they can all "get along" for a few days. For many people that requires pretence and suppression of some very strong passions and anxieties.
Great recipe for fun, eh?? What I'm wondering here is that if we need to "detach" within the principles of DB from others' moods and actions, shouldn't we also be capable of detaching from the artificial constraints of Christmas, etc. Is it controlling us or are we controlling it?
It would of course be lovely to wake up beside your H on Christmas Day. But lovelier than any other day???
W and I, even in the midst of our agonies, have decided to virtually abandon the whole Christmas thing this year. Previously our Christmases were major production numbers. We're keeping present giving and visiting to a bare minimum, and we're not even staying at home. It feels great so far!! Maybe this year you can just bail out and refuse to sweat over who's staying with who??? Just get in a few more crates of Riesling.....
BND As ever your post has come at a crucial time for me. I need to keep seeing how things have changed so drastically for you to able to keep a focus on my own sitch. Right now I can only hope and pray that I will be as fortunate as you. My own patience and strength is at an all time low today. Need to rediscover it before the big day itself so that I don't spoil things for the kids.
God bless
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I was totally blown away today! I received a lovely package in the mail from my Husband. A really sexy outfit..woohoo!!! In all of our years together he has never bought me anything like this. Then again, I never would have worn anything like this before. He told me that I am beautiful and he wants to show me off.
SO....I have never been a trophy wife before
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I'm very happy for your turnaround in your M, and even if mine never does it is great to be given a smile and some hope in your post today. Merry Christmas!
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
BND, That is sooo great! Every time I come over to your thread, I think to myself, just last year she thought it was over, over, over - and now LOOK! You are a trophy wife, always have been! But now your H is treating you like one. How great is that? He gets who you are! Any details about this outfit? I want to live vicariously through you since this is not MY year with H.
BND, I am so happy for you. I hope you can send your H a digital photo in the outfit for Xmas day!
Cheers to you, and your indominitable spirit
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
PH 
