One step at a time.........

[brandnewday]

I have to get a grip.
You'd think after being on this ride for so long I would be immune to the highs and the lows by now.
The communication between my H and Me is getting better.
Have heard more I Love You's but have still not said it back.
I did write it on an email though.
His Mother still is doing her freaking antics and I am mad as hell right now.
Forgive me while I vent, but I have nobody to talk to about this issue.
She wants him to drive down Friday morning and stay through Monday night.
Why is this woman not decent enough to say, "you should be with your wife and kids, it's Christmas".
Or "let me help you pay for your ticket home as your present so you can be with your family".
But instead, she gives the good old guilt trip and tries to entice him with home made tamales and time together.
Yes I know the other side too.
My Husband could have said "no".
He likes the fact that he will have his Mommy all to himself as his Brother won't be around.
She mentioned to me that next Christmas she would like to come out here and spend it with her Grandkids.
You know, the ones who she has had no contact with or called in ages and ages.
Inside I am screaming HELL NO!!!
But I just said "we'll see".
I have to accept that my Christmas Miracle is not going to be happening this year.
Obviously God has other plans for me this year.
The kids think I am playing a joke on them about their Dad not being here.
They don't believe me.
This is not something I would kid around about.
So this will be the forth sucky Christmas in a row, I had so wanted this one to be special and different.
I wanted to wake up on Christmas morning with my Husband next to me.
I wanted to sit with him and the kids and do the gift thing.
I sound like a baby but it is just so freaking unfair.