Matilda, Step 2 in DR is "Know What You Want." Michelle instructs us to list two or three things you are hoping to change or improve about your M. You are advised as you develop this to 1) think about what you want in your M, not what's missing, 2) think action, and 3) think small steps. To aid us in doing so, she asks, "when your H stops doing X, what will he be doing instead?"
Can you see how this exercise is different than working on our personal goals and the techniques of DB? Can you see how they are complementary?
Give this exercise a try and see how it changes your perspective. I did the exercise only a few days ago, and already find it helpful.
Concerned_Listener
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
