Matilda, You can't control his behavior, but you can certainly influence it. No, I don't think your requests are unreasonable, but my validation isn't going to change his behavior. It doesn't sound like your conversation convinced him to change his behavior.
Have your read any of MWD's DB books? I've recently pulled my old DB book that I bought in 1996. It complements my other books, in that it's focus (as you can guess) is about having us change our behaviors to those that influence the M in positive ways, rather than intensifying efforts that are nonproductive.
I think you're too focused on what he's doing or not doing, and need to take a step back and try other behaviors that will have a greater likelihood of getting him to behave in the ways that you want.
What are you going to do to take care of yourself this weekend? What kind of goals can you put in place that will influence the R in the way that you want? What are you now doing that is exacerbating existing R problems, and your own distress?
Concerned_Listener
------------------ CL 46 W 47 M 13 yrs. S 7 months in 03-04'
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
