Amy, thanks for the lovely words of encouragement. They came at just the right time.
Aid, your level-headedness continuously stands out, and I appreciate your post. Yes, I agree with you, going dark is the only thing left that allows me to feel a little bit of control because I'm choosing not to contact H. You're right, it did suck that he didn't even send an email to say thanks for the package. I didn't realize he was still in such a selfish state of mind. I'm not too proud to say it hurt me. I didn't send a lot but I did put thought into what I bought him.
The holidays are definitely making it worse for me. I thought this year I'd be much, much happier and far more into celebrating. Guess not. I'll have to try again next year. Not to say that I'm ignoring the day because I'm spending time w/family and I know they will be helpful to make the day special. Still though, it doesn't make me stop thinking of H and our holidays together.
Your H will wake up one of these days to find that some great guy snached you up.
I have a doubtful feeling on this as there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of great guys out there. At least not that I've run into yet!
You are meant to be wehre you are today. ANd one day it will become clear why.
Every night I ask God not to forget about this and to please show me soon why.
I had myself a good cry, then went tanning (just to feel warm; it's very comforting and I'm usually always cold, so this helps!) then made cocoa when I got home. I am going to bed soon; working in the morning. Thanks for all of the support today; I really needed it.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
