Hope, I don't post to you often but follow your saga. You are often right about where I am emotionally.
I have to tell myself that I too tried. And it just did not work. Sometimes I go over the tactics that i used, or disect a conversation that we had, and berate myself for not doing it differently. But the truth is that my h was not going to look back to me no matter what I did or did not do.
I am still sad - and it is 2+ years after the bomb, and 2 yrs since he moved out. I am lonely and miss what was to be as much as I miss my h. But i am facing that it is over and that I must figure out how to live with that realization and make a new life.
You have a great start on the new life part - putting tog. a new home, new job, and new haunts. I think we must just concentrate on the good of what we have in front of us. This is hardly new news, but cannot be said enough.
One common thread I think here is that we often feel better if we KNOW our WAS is screwing up, is unhappy, and disfunctional somehow. But our own happiness cannot be based on another person's failures, or their idiotic mistakes. I guess that can be the background - telling ourselves that when they left they made the biggest mistake of thier lives, but somehow we must get over that too - and just go on to make the most of the present. Perhaps that can be with a crack in the door for the WAS to return. But no decision necessary on that now.
Merry Christmas to you. Enjoy being with your family - see yourself surrounded by love.
