It's been about 4 days since I last made any contact w/H, and that was only a short text message that he never replied to. By now he has certainly received the package I mailed to him w/a few small gifts and some things for puppy. Absolutely NO acknowledgement from him that he received this, or appreciated it in the least.
I don't expect any more contact from him. I really don't. I think he's just happier to move on with this friend/gf of his. There is nothing I haven't said to try to show him that I am willing to try. I was sharing with a friend of mine that the fact that H came to the realization that he wasn't happier living this way but STILL didn't want to reconcile made me feel like I had very little value to him. If he knows he messed up, it seems like he'd be wanting me back more than ever instead of running to someone else now. I guess he knows what he doesn't want, and that's us being together. It is just time that I start facing up to it, I think. I don't expect it to be easy at all, and I find myself having very sad moments when it hits me hard. But maybe after the new year things will be a little easier and I can begin to forget about him. Right now, there are too many nostalgic moments that keep popping up, because the holidays are here.
I tried. I really did. I honestly thought he would come out of it.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
