Snodderly, thanks so much for your advice. It means a lot. Especially with recent "events" with H--or whatever I call them these days!!!
I tend to fall into the "go totally dark" camp. So, your advice is actually easy to follow for me. My H is a little different....I really don't think he will come sniffing around. He never has since I left. Just kept sweeping through women....now onto OW#5. We have spoken 4 times in nearly 7 months, and it has always been me that called. Very depressing, emotional conversations.....and he does feel that he has screwed up too much, just better to move forward with a clean slate...looking for elusive happiness. Maybe this is what is right for him, just better that we come to that conclusion when we're both not as emotional and a little more sane.
I have no idea what no contact does for my H. So far, it seems that he keeps in the tunnel. Runs to an other OW, pushes the D, etc. But, maybe this IS progression through MLC for him.
Either way, my main drive to remain dark is for ME. My life has been much more sane, I have regained focus on other things that matter to me, I stand strong and happy, I laugh and smile and pay attention to the life that passes through me each day. I try to regain my sensitivity to "normal" again. I can only do this WITHOUT H. It hurts, but, I guess it's normal. I'm also able to process my own emotions, instead of just pushing through and acting as if.
So far, gone on 8 weeks with no contact. 8 weeks since H has had papers for D drawn. This is the longest we have not talked. I have no urge to break that streak.
Let's go for the gold.
Hope--sorry for the hijack.....but I think it applies. You will be surprised at how easy it is to back off....you will learn to enjoy the silence. It's like a challenge....how long can you go without calling H?
