I really don't have any advice to offer other than that I totally agree with snodderly. Right now I'm having no contact with H and I'm going to follow what snodderly suggested. I've allowed my H to come and go as he wants for the past two years. If I don't allow him to deal with this crisis who knows how long this will last.
I know this will be difficult because there are times when I want to contact H and be friendly with him again. But I know this not help my sitch.
Happy Holidays!
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years