I've been thinking about all of this for the past day; even spoke to my friend again and he asked me if I'd talked to H yet. I told him no. I tend to think that going dark is pretty much the same thing as if I had spoken to H and told him either do something now or I won't be contacting you unless it's an emergency. So I may as well just go dark and act like he chose the latter. He most likely would, anyhow. At least for right now that is probably what I will do. I hate having to do this now, before Christmas, but for my own sanity I suppose it's the best idea. In doing this, I am sure that I won't be seeing any progress from H, because again no one is forcing him to do anything differently than he's doing...which is zero. He's just existing through his days, still unhappy, but at least not blaming his marriage anymore. A time in the future may present itself where I DO say something about him needing to either start working on this or know that it's over for good. I suppose if the time is right, I'll know it and I'll say what needs to be said. I truly feel your pain on always having to be the person to initiate something. Wet blankets these men are. So much passive behavior; I'm tired, too.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
