Last night, H called me. He was just on his way home, after being out. Basically, he's been hanging out with this woman he used to work with a few years ago. I know while we were married they really were only friends, and nothing romantic was going on. He claims it still isn't.
They meet out to catch a movie or dinner, or whatever; pay "dutch", no romantic gestures. He says that all his male friends are married, and come Fri. night they all have families to spend time with and he doesn't see much of them. That's his explanation for his new single, female "buddy".
I calmly said it sounded to me like he was dating her and perhaps we shouldn't be talking anymore. Well he seemed taken aback by this and said that it wasn't dating in the sense that I thought, and they were only friends, he talked to her (she knows our story) and that he could certainly talk to me.
He kept on telling me how alone he has been, all this time. How he's been "alone for a LONG time". I'm sorry but this infuriated me inside. I'm the one that has been alone, not him. I calmly told him my opinion; that since this all began he's always had someone, etc. He said I didn't know what it was like to be him. That he doesn't have anyone he's falling in love with or sleeping beside at night. I told him I didn't either.
Which led to a short discussion about our R. Basically, he doesn't share my opinions on working things out because after all he's done it's just easier for him to "start over". So I came to the end of my proverbial road and I said, "Ok, H, if you never see us together then why not just say so? I will handle it fine." He said, "I don't know. I can't say that."
He asked about my family as he always does. I told him how things were with them, and I also added how they ask about him and wonder how things are going for him, too. He then said he wasn't feeling well, had a stomache ache and needed to get off the phone. [I think discussing this gets him sick]. So we said goodbye and he told me he would call me later, and was that all right? I said it was. But I don't expect to hear from him.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
