Hope,

I am glad that you see the progress you H has made in the past 2 years. He is coming forward, very slowly, just by him now realizing what a mess he has made.

You are right, they don't realize that at the beginning of replay. Once they do, like he is, their eyes really open and see what they did and it depresses them and they are angry at themselves. My H said the same thing. After blaming and being angry at me for 2 yrs, he realized he was really angry at himself but took it out on me.

I think this is "big" that now they have insight into themselves. It still seems to take a long time for them to first accept what they have done, take responsibility and then forgive THEMSELVES and move forward. SLOWLY.

Be patient and enjoy the holidays!

wed2

It seems this may be what he is doing and he does need time, as Snodderly said.

wed2alien

Both 49, M 23 years
3 teens
April 2004- bomb, moved out
April 2006-Ended with OW for the LAST time
May 2006- He wants to work on the marriage!!
Nov 2006-- Moved home
May 2008- Things still getting better