Hope, Your h is experiencing a bout of severe depression and withdrawal. When they are this way, they want to be left alone. Please stop contacting him for a while. Allow him to come to you when he's feeling up to it.
If you have been over on the 40/60 forum, Newman posted that there a few months in the year when individuals are more prone to be depressed--October - December. My guess is because there are numerous holidays whereby people are happy and jolly and want to do the family thing. Also, this is a time when the sun isn't the strongest as well. Your h has been depressed and somewhat withdrawn for a while. Now, it's hitting him a bit harder and he'll be like this throughout the holiday. He needs this time to himself to think and heal.
Give him the time and space to heal. Trust me, he will contact you when he has the need to. For now, step back and give him the space he needs to reflect back on the past and the mess he's created. Once this pocket of depression lifts a bit, he'll be a bit better and more chatty.
I hope your holidays are happy ones, despite what you are going through.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
