here's the deal about "wanting to be loving, but your W was just toooo angry for you to be loving".....Hello??? THAT is when it takes REAL love to keep on loving....The fact is that rather than addressing the REASONS for her anger which was simply a manifestation of her PAIN and heartbreak, it was easier for YOU, to hope she'd work it all out on her own. Boy is that familiar. And incredibly self-serving....convenient, easiest for YOU, etc. You get the point. Been there, heard that.... I'm ragging on you b/c I want you to "get it" so that you can eventually communicate to her that you get it. IF she sees the change, rather than having you tell her of it, she will have 2nd thoughts. She is a mother and will HAVE to reconsider. Also, DELAY telling the kids as long as possible and make sure you are on the SAME page, if and when you do tell them... And let them have hope, no matter how bleak she may want to make it, or how "sure" she thinks she is. She is NOT sure, although she may not know that. Even when my feelings for H were at their lowest, down deep I still retained some hope that he'd change. That he'd be the man I needed him to be, and somehow come forward. I think he is trying and wants to be a better H, per his words...hope he does...You can too. Don't give up, in part you have to fight the urge to give up b/c it is Easier than trying to change, especially when it might not work...So force yourself to hang in there.
Were you ever very close? What changed? And yes, her last birthday is a telling marker in life. Put the ingredients together, and you have what you have... But I just don't believe it's too late. So, how are you doing the DB program and how are you GAL? No matter what course of action you want to take, GAL is a key ingredient to all GAL plans.
And LOVE those kids of yours. As I said, NO mother remains unmoved by her children lovingly interacting with their father. And it counters her "unloving, unlovable" images she may create about you, to justify leaving... Good luck, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
