Be firm. Then when he accuses you of being cold and having no emotions...tell him you are sorry he feels that way. You can also tell him your tactic here...I seem this way because I am protecting my heart.
I've tried this once and it went in one ear, out the other. However, I am going to be very firm on this one. And, if he can't deal with it or accept it then it is time to move on.
What rules are there regarding the house?
The only rule now is I have told him to call prior to coming over. H has already broken that one. Other than getting into an argument with him when he does break this rule, I don't know what else to do.
Perhaps just get your things and leave. At that time or later let him know that his behaviour disappointed you. ...the disrepsect was in not respecting your space and boundaries...now it is important that he knows about the boundaries. If you haven't told him what is and isn't allowed in clear language...it doesn't count...that's not fair. This isn't like the law where you are in trouble whether you know the law or not. Why...because boundaires can change...so no changing out of the blue...there needs to be an inciting incident--even just a conversation.
Okay, I will give this one a try if it happens the next time.
But you can be kind while being firm and avoiding negative emotions such as anger.
I need to really work on this one
There's not anything to report from the homefront. H has not contacted me and I have made no contacts to him since Sunday. It's really too early for any contacts from H. His usualy M.O. is to wait about 5 days to a full week before he makes any contact. If he doesn't make contact during this time I guess this will be something new for the both of us
I must say it is nice not to be dealing with any drama and any second guessing on his meanings towards me.
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
