Hmm... this is very interesting to me. I think I've projected here... not sure.
I think I might be seeing this a bit differently since I am now divorced... I've entered the dating scene again, have had sex with another man other than the one I was with for 17 years... could be me being a Type 5/6 thing, too, as opposed to whatever Types the two of you are. Aren't you two the same Type?
I think, having the experience of divorce... that I view marriage/sex/Rs in a whole different way, especially from the views I had of them when I was married. Not better, not worse, just different.
Though it does not pain me to think of my xH having sex with someone else, nor does it even bother me to think of him marrying someone else... I am very acutely aware of what is no longer there in my life. Nothing will ever be the same again. It isn't a good thing or a bad thing... I don't even know if I can explain it. Maybe some others who have also been divorced can speak to this... I mean, you move on, you find happiness again... I dunno. I don't know what I'm trying to say.
It's just that... when it's gone, it's gone. ("It" being your first marriage.) And it takes a part of you with it. The fact that both of you are in healthier places about yourselves within your Ms, and you are still in them... to me... is IT.
Just be a bit cautious on how cavalier you think you might be on choices you have not made... the 'thought' of something happening, and then it actually happening, can be two different things.
Sorry. 