Quote: think he tries to throw his self-contempt onto you and when you show him you are above him, he becomes aroused.
That might be part of it but I think that it is also true that my H has a sexuality that is kind of the male complement to your style of Type 4 sexuality. You want to submit or be frightened by "the stranger" and my H wants me to submit or be frightened by him playing "the stranger". There's more of a thrill in "taking me down" if I'm wearing red leather power heels. I should add that I really s*ck at playing my part in the "scary stranger fantasy". My reaction time is too slow. It's kind of like my H jumps out from behind a door and tries to scare me and I'm so distracted I just smile absent-mindedly and say "Nice mask honey." and don't even realize he was trying to get a reaction out of me until it's too late to go along with the plan. I really would have to psych myself up beforehand to do that sort of fantasy. Probably I would have to think something like "My H's penis is coated with poison and if it touches me I will die a painful death.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
