Here is the thing that makes me nutz. Anyone who has read my posts recently would sense that my recent attitude towards my marriage is not exactly the best.
Q:What does my bad attitude get me? A:Lots of really hot sex from my H.
He is turned on by being with a woman who has basically thrown up her hands and given him up as a hopeless case or to be more precise, he is turned on by the behavior/vibe that I manifest when I feel that way. Though, perhaps I am not being completely accurate when I say this either because my vibe would be more like "I give up on you. You are a hopeless case, yet I will continue working on this marriage as an exercise in personal growth if nothing else.".
Recent Encounter
My H was complaining about my shoes. More specifically, he was complaining about the fact that I wear the same pair of worn, comfortable Ugg clogs most of the time. He said "It is depressing to me to see my wife in shoes like that. It makes me feel like I am poor.". My response was "It is very unfair of you to complain miserably to me one day about how much you hate your job and then complain to me about not spending enough money on shoes. If you want more freedom to get a lower paying job, we need to lower our standard of living. If you want me to dress expensively that is doing the opposite.". His response was along the lines of "It makes me hate my job more if I feel like I'm poor so I really want you to buy new shoes.". I said something to him along the lines of "I just hope that you are aware that I would probably wear worn-down Ugg shoes even if I was a mult-millionaire. I just don't think about shoes.". However, I agreed to go shoe shopping. My H had a fund of "found" money for which he didn't know the total balance. He told me to spend it on shoes. I discovered that there was quite a bit more money in the fund then anticipated. I forced myself to spend it all on shoes. I bought 5 pairs of shoes including one pair of red leather heels to match my new red leather power valise. My H was amazed at my behavior. He f*cked the h*ck out of those red heels that evening. Luckily, I was in them.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
