1) My father is the only parent of my marriage who grew up with his own father. My H's parent's fathers both died when his parents were babies and my mother's father was absent because her parent's marriage was annulled before she was born. All three of them grew up with step-fathers.
2) Though my low-functioning Type 7 Elizabeth Taylor-at-her-worst mother was not much of a parent to me (sidenote: my children semi-jokingly tell me that they enjoy hanging out with my mother because it is very relaxing to be around someone who is "pure evil".), I did have a loving Type 7 maternal grandmother. She was a hard-working on the Union line gorgeous in appearance with a high sex drive Rosie the Riveter, twice-divorced, Kool smoking, beer from the can drinking, owns her own house in a tough neighborhood in Detroit and fights the hoodlum who tries to snatch her purse when she's 75 years old, left her second husband because he objected to her spending her own money at the racetrack. Basically a pretty tough broad but she cuddled and babied me because I was her pet. The advice she gave me and my sister when she once caught us looking at a Playgirl magazine was "Those boys are alright, but you girls take care of yourselves.". So I have internalized her as sort of my own personal Judge Judy who is telling me to, as you put it, "put down my own stakes" and stop waiting for some man to do it for me.
Thinking about her also brings to mind what HP said about me being a sort of emotional gambler. My Type 7 grandmother was a gambler, my Type 7 mother was a shopaholic and I am a woman who has a degree in mathematics with a concentration in actuarial science and I make my living by trading used and rare books which really is a profession that requires you to be a sort of cool-headed gambler. I have to make very fast decisions which can only partially be based on logic. My relationships with my competition are also sort of like you might imagine the relationship to be between very civilized racetrack regulars. That is also why I tend towards wanting to engage in activities such as trading options or breeding dahlias. I find activities that blend luck and skill to be very high "flow" activities for me.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
