I really don't think there is anyone here telling you that things will work out [unless it is very close to the clear end of the crisis, with very clear signs of reconnection]. Clearly some do, and that is good - they return and post here sometimes; equally clearly some don't: not necessarily bad, as the person moves on and remakes their life.
I tried to get a perspective some time ago, via these threads, on whether there were some sorts of damage, and some symptoms of MLC that would make it more or less likely that the person would get stuck in that mode.
For what is it is worth, I would suggest that severe emotional damange during childhood, and a troubled marriage prior to MLC don't help.
I am not sure that there is any hard evidence for the odds being that they won't work out. In fact most affairs fizzle out in two years, and many men make some attempt to reconnect with their wife and children [if there are any]. Sometimes they have moved on. Jim Conway puts it at 4 out 5 trying to come back . . . Even if it is only 50% it seems a reasonable gamble if you have had a long and happy relationship with the person.
