Quote: This is a huge mistake that we make because we don't neccesarily always believe that we are good enough for our wives. We feel like we don't deserve the hapiness and the woman that they are. It's a huge lack of self confidence that we all contain, I believe genetically. I believe that at some point a man grows up and realizes just how selfich he has been and only then can he lead a truly shared marriage with his W
In some ways this sounds like me. I know when I was younger (mid 20's) I DID have lingering self esteem issues. I was THRILLED to marry XW. Was madly in love w/ her (and I thought she me) But after about 2.5 years it seemed like the glow was wearing off and I FELT like she didn't want to do things w/ me, go places w/ me, etc. And when she reneged on our plan about WHEN to start our family and started pushing for that 7,8 months early... I felt like she was really just looking for a baby to take care of and love b/c she didn't want to deal w/ ME. And trying to talk to her about how I felt about being a father as well as OUR M/R didn't seem to get anywhere. Small wonder I found someone else attractive. At least I realized very quickly that someone else was not going to solve my problems. My issues were always going to be MY issues. Which is why I was so understanding of what XW was feeling and doing when the bomb hit.
AFA treating her like a possession... I never did that. I always encouraged her to be a SEPARATE individual. I don't want someone that defines themself by ME. And I "think" I'm mature enough to deal w/ a woman like that.
