Yup, it's so hard not to rehash the past. When you get into it both of you start the denial of what the other is saying. I liked your answer "that's the way it felt" when he said he wasn't controlling. A good sign would be if he could talk to you about how he could not seem controlling rather than defending himself. That's pretty normal though, and takes some doing to get to the point where you can actually accept someone elses experience of your behaviour and recognize the validity. Same on your side, 1210. When he says you weren't meeting his needs you repond "his needs were met". Nope, or he wouldn't have stepped out on you! But, that doesn't mean you could ever meet his needs if he wants you housebound and sitting at his feet each evening. You two will have to hash it all out. Eventually, you'll know whether this is possible or just more of the same. Hope this helps.
