Quote: i only discovered that i felt nothing when i had sex with him for the first time during honeymoon, and that was also my first time.
Well, I'll not argue this point... And MAYBE your H is not a great lover. But at the point you committed to him you should be completely committed to doing whatever to make your marriage work. Not to sound like a Bible thumper but have you read any books on marriage that are Christian based? In order to gain some perspective of what the intent of marriage is w/ in the context of a loving relationship w/ each other? I know for me personally some of the books I have read in the past 20 months have been a real eye opener. And the funny thing is my personal beliefs matched very closely just not in the same language. SEX is something that was intended to be VERY special within a marriage. It WAS intended to be satisfying. But it sounds like you want to just show up and expect that everything will be rockets and stars. Maybe I'm off base, but I can tell you if you expect to have a great love life you have to do some work. XW wanted to be wooed/romanced. Acted like life was a romance novel all the time. Expected to feel "IN LOVE" all the time. That's not real.
Quote: but if OM and me are really meant for each other, time will tell.
Don't count on it. Most men do NOT leave. I know I wouldn't have. Even if he does leave.... he may not divorce or he may use you as the "exit relationship"; seen that more than a few times at work!
Quote: sticking to a marriage for the sake of children? i guess being mature is to be responsible isn't it?
Well yeah! And being mature means HONESTLY looking for the good in your H and ASSUMING that he intends you goodwill. I am certain your H is a man of good intentions and would not willingly do something hurtful or mean to you... I would also encourage you to find a copy of the TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE... Forget who wrote it... Maybe b/c of you I saw it in a store yesterday and was thumbing through it. Told the story of Jacob, Leah, Rachel... Long story short, Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah when he wanted Rachel. Gets Rachel eventually. Doesn't like Leah but she's the one who keeps getting PG and popping out kids for him. She doesn't have a spark in her eyes for him. Basically he got stuck w/ the sister nobody wanted. Eventually Rachel dies and is buried. Later in life Jacob buries Leah in the "family plot" DOESN'T have Rachel reburied there. Gist of the whole story is LEAH is the one that Jacob grew to love, cherish, adore etc...
YOU may want to consider what the effect on your marriage would be if you spent all your energy looking for good in your H and M and less on "being happy".
Quote: i want to grow old with a man i truely love. is this just a fantasy? will love die? i used to think that love dies anyway over time, but now i think that love will not die when you are with the right one. i don't know i am right or not, but i am willing to find out.
So why did you really marry your H? Do you think he's incapable of loving you? Someone on the BB here has a tagline that basically says "just b/c someone doesn't love you the way you want doesn't mean they don't love you". Is this the case w/ you? And you know something? MAYBE you can D, marry OM and live happily every after. It DOES happen. Just know the odds are very much against you. B/c I'm betting that you and your own personal issues, whatever they are, are more the problem here than your H. Wherever you go, they will be there too. At least until you resolve them. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find that things are better w/ H then. Funny how that works.
