indeed, why did i marry to him? i could only say now that that was a huge mistake. just in case you miss this part, i only discovered that i felt nothing when i had sex with him for the first time during honeymoon, and that was also my first time. i was thinking if i had had sex with other men before marriage, i would be able to make a better choice. please note that i am not talking about techniques during sex, i am refering to the connections, feelings.
i think i liked my H during our courtship intensely, very intensely, perhaps it didn't reach the "love" level.
i do not agree that "the circumstances of your R w/ OM do NOT bode well for a LTR." everyone would assume that relationships from affairs would not work out. i just feel that all relationships need hardwork anyway, be it first love, current boyfriend/girlfriend, current spouse or lovers. real feelings and great LTR do not only limit to partners before marriage. i know i am being defensive, but if OM and me are really meant for each other, time will tell. i would not conclude that he is not a good choice if i D.
i would not deny that i am immature. i do not know what is maturity anymore. is sticking to someone just out of responsibility a show of maturity? sticking to a marriage for the sake of children? i guess being mature is to be responsible isn't it? i agree i guess. but i think i'll choose to follow my heart so that i won't regret when i am old. i want to grow old with a man i truely love. is this just a fantasy? will love die? i used to think that love dies anyway over time, but now i think that love will not die when you are with the right one. i don't know i am right or not, but i am willing to find out.
