Before you do anything, would you at least try something first? Go out and buy a sexual intimacy book - one that you can learn about the importance of foreplay. Read it then try this...plan a seduction night with the H. Music on, low lights, wear something sexy - then use your hands, to massage his back tenderly - then ask him to do the same to you - then, try touching him tenderly all over - ask him to do the same to you - in otherwords, do to him, things that you would love to be done with you...no rush, just let him explore you.
The point of this is to see whether you can be satisfied with him - to your satisfaction. Maybe he isn't passionate with you, maybe he's too interested in satisfying his own needs.
My first experience with sex was just like yours...nothing. No porn, but no feelings either. It was my first time, so I wasn't sure what to expect...we broke up b/c he was a real jerk...not b/c the sex was lame. Then I met my H and he was so innovative...the beach, swimming pool, yet so passionate, I was floored. I learned alot from the magazine Cosmopolitan...really fun stuff. I read books about how to be a "femme fatale"...you learn these things.
If your H believes that you don't like sex...it's b/c he probably doesn't know anything about the female body. I would like you to see a movie: 9 1/2 Weeks - it's really a turn on - watch it first by yourself. It's very sensual.
If you could have the kind of sex with your H, as you do with the OM - would you still want to leave your H?
Try everything first - see how it works...if still nothing then I would suggest a therapist...for you to talk to. I think you resent your H b/c he hasn't made you feel like the woman you are and need to be...enters the OM...instant love plus sex. That's hard competition. Therefore, you love this OM so much...
See if that helps you any...it seems your H feels that it's okay to live like that...but for you, it's not...of course not.
