hi, you are hitting on something i have been thinking about. a friend of mine told me this before, she said my problem with my H could be psychological.
this problem went all the way back on our honeymoon, during my first time. i wasn't aroused at all, not a bit, he tried to make me watch porno film which was showing on the hotel tv then to help. it didn't work, but i did my "duty".
so is not that i had great sex and connection with my H for the starting phase and then feelings fade and i became a dead fish. right from the start i was a dead fish, sex is purely sex to me, no passion, it was a pain. to him, it was great, because he loves me.
i told my H about this problem before, he concluded i dislike sex, i am quite sure he is in self denial that it is because i don't love him.
i told him all the time i love him, i am not lying, i do love him in reciprocate to the way he loves me ( i am human, i would be touched too), not as a lover (which i only discover recently.)
honestly, if i were single, i would marry my OM without hesitation. marriage in any way carries a form of risk, from the way i know my OM, yes is my answer to his proposal if i am single. even if it does not work out, no regrets.
thank you everyone for all your posts. i admit i am in absolute dilemma. i also admit it is so obvious my posts sound like my mind is made up. actually i have not made up my mind, my posts just reflect where my heart inclines to at the moment. i love my OM now. yes, i am blinded, i am not sane now, i agree to all these. love is a poison.
i did think about dragging the affair on and on to see if OM is worthed being with, but, this is so wrong, so unfair to my H.
i reallly wish i could write more on my OM to let you know the situation he is in, but i can't. so i also would not "defend" for him.
thanks again for everyone who posted here. for no reason, maybe just to release my emotion, i would like to say, i am very tempted, very very very tempted to start a marriage with him. i am just human, i am weak, i am very overwhelmed and completely lost my heart to him (not my mind yet, half maybe ). if i can think straight i wouldn't be writing here. thanks for tolerating me.
